99%
• Headspaces
Richard was expecting a comment on a comment he made a short while ago, in which he said we spent 99% of our time together out of D/s mode. Instead of a comment I decided on an entry.
The stark black-and-white-ness of the term surprised me, since for me it felt like more. I’d say we average 2 good sessions a week, sometimes only one - then there is S+M practice where I learn new techiques.
For a start there are many dynamics of our relationship that, while not intense enough to fall under D/s, are about Richard providing things for me, such as massaging me and making sure I feel as good as I can by whatever means he is capable of. Since he does this voluntarily, there is no submission and therefore no D/s, though on my side it does make me feel important which invokes some of the D. We have even talked about augmenting these things or making them seem more submissive for Richard.
This also ties in with Richard’s love of chivalry, which I see as a form of diluted D/s (a kinky sex game disguised by Society under the guise of gender norms). I will get onto chivalry in a more broad sense in another entry, but I enjoy Richard opening doors for me in public, bringing me things and obeying simple, polite commands, etc.
Finally, I found his quantifying our D/s life a little unnecessary or irksome. I find being dominant very enjoyable but have found getting in the mood to be a tricky thing in these times. His putting a figure on it was clearly to make a point (and a valid one at that) to another poster about a certain issue (mainly that we are not a lifestyle couple, and clearly don’t want to be at any time in the near future). I am not annoyed, but found it a little stark.
Richard, I know you don’t think of our D/s life as a measly 1%, that makes it sound so much less prominent a feature of our life than it is.
Comments
Trying to quantify emotions is a mistake. One I’m not infrequently guilty of.
You know myself how happy I am when you ask me to make you a drink and that part of me wants to drop to a knee when I bring it.
That you spotted the tissue thin separation between my desire to serve as a lover and please as a slave is something I’ll always treasure.
Love and adoration.
Posted by: Richard | August 13, 2005 1:26 PM