Being Told What to Do
• Headspaces
During what I guess you’d term ‘pure’ S+M sessions, i.e. where there is little domination but mostly experimentation with my delivery and his reception, I was surprised that he noticed I had a bit of a hangup about actually being told what to do in that context.
I admit it. In a lot of situations I don’t like it. I don’t know why, entirely. I don’t always have this reaction. In bed I don’t mind being slightly submissive or yielding to the right guy. One of the first guys I slept with was obviously a Dom but he didn’t tell me about that side of himself and just sprung it on me. Fucker pulled my hair and said things like “I’d spread your legs if I were you”. I told him to stop and walked out the room, and from then on he was totally weird with me.
Did I mention how much I hate that kind of dominant man (I do understand that there are a lot of more gentlemanly Doms out there)?
Anyway, I quite like it when Richard gets on top of me, tells me something to do, or is otherwise assertive. It’s kinda hot because (you should know this by now) I love the contrast it creates in the context of our relationship. Even though I consider myself sexually dominant these days, it would be such a shame to stop that side of him. And when he is assertive I feel in control anyway, almost like I’m making him do it :)
Anyway, the main point I wanted to make, was that I intend to not give off any ‘vibes’ when pet is asking me to do specific things to him. I think it’s important to do this so we can push our performance further. We must practice, practice, practice like jazz cats so that when the opportunity arises we can up the tempo and hit the high notes.
Comments
Beloved,
You are so wonderful.
You know how horrible I find it to ever seem pushy. I love being able to please, help, do whatever I can for you.
And all you’d ever need to do to send me to my knees is just point downward.
Posted by: Richard | February 26, 2007 8:57 PM
Now I know why I’m a musician… To attempt to express the things for which there aren’t any words :)
You are very so not pushy, honey. I know you’ve had your problems but please don’t feel bad about them.
Posted by: Alexandra | February 27, 2007 3:24 PM
I never knew you were a musician, Alexandra! What do you play? And what style of music?
Posted by: roo-roo | February 27, 2007 9:53 PM
I don’t play so much as compose music with computers, though playing keyboard is part of that process. (I actually wish I could play more instruments but, maybe one day…)
I’m influenced by a lot of different styles of music but most of what I do could be classed as percussion-driven IDM and melodic/funky drum and bass. I’m also developing an interest in microtones and alternative tuning systems.
If you’re still interested I have loads of mp3’s online. I get a few jokes about it being a racket, though :)
Posted by: Alexandra | February 28, 2007 9:18 PM