Dealing with Pain
• Headspaces
Recently I’ve started laser hair removal at a local salon. The results after 2 complete tours of my whole body look promising (I’ve bought 7 passes), but by far the most painful aspect is having my facial area lasered.
The facial area has to be done with the highest power setting and that is also the most sensitive part of a person’s skin. The result is 15 minutes of intensely sharp electrical jabs which are intensely painful.
On my first go, upon realizing the sheer painfulness I wanted to bow out then and there. Each ‘zap’ is like a cross between an electric shock and a white hot needle stabbing you. The only consolation is that it lasts an infinitesimal amount of time (barring soreness for a few hours afterwards), but that doesn’t really help if you know you must continue to endure shock after shock on the soft part of your neck, lips, under your nose.
Anyway, my point for writing all of this is that the second time around I surprised myself with how I dealt with the pain. I just sort of relaxed into it. It was awful. Worse than being at the dentist by about ten times. When it was over I confessed to feeling a bit jittery and disoriented. But I felt a bizarre sense of pride over my ability to endure and not make so much fuss as last time.
Maybe this is as close as I can get to understanding a masochist’s experience first-hand? For me, the pain needs to be undergone to achieve a result, and at the same time, the fabric of my body screams into my cortex. Isn’t it the same for our pets? They need to be ‘cleansed’, but at the same time, pain is pain.
One obvious difference is that I wasn’t turned on by having my face fried. That is something that surely makes a masochist’s life much easier :)
I did certainly feel glad that the painful process was under way, though, so for a moment, I was in some twisted logic a masochist!