Fear Of The Drop
• Headspaces
A few days ago we were playing informally, as we do a lot recently, and I got one of those “What do I do now?” moments. He was bound and turned on, and I knew I had a time window in which to strike while the iron was hot, but nothing really spoke out to me.
I hate times like this. I just feel a bit silly, to be honest. It rarely happens so I’ve developed the skill of just shrugging it off. Treating it as a glitch. My fear is feeling like this all the time. Of not ‘getting’ kink. The weird thing is I can still carry on and enjoy it, without the mental connection with pet and the topspace. So at least that’s something.
Another thing I fear is lack of imagination. I’m not always inventing new permutations and scenarios like some doms do, I think about BDSM a lot but mostly in a romantic, relationship-focussed way. Think roles and feelings rather than procedures and fetishes. I get a lot of ideas writing on when I’m on the Forums - sometimes appropriated from an esteemed like mind.
I also get ideas when in topspace, but a lot of them aren’t that elegant and involve being quite physically rough. Pet’s has a lot of aches and pains and things have gotten a little out of hand recently, so I have to be careful with him. I have to admit, this challenges me. I like being rough. I’m a soft, cutesy kind of person and get off on the contrast when I am nasty.
But pet has been doing everything he can to give me the best experience and that’s all I can ask for; and I always endeavor to do the same for him.
Comments
If you’d ever like to talk privately about scene ideas, daily rituals etc drop me a line at the email above.
(that way we can exclude Richard entirely from any evil ideas we come up with, lol)
Ms160 Ms160s Abode FetishLore
Posted by: Mistress160 | May 22, 2007 2:16 AM