Mistakes
• Inner Growth
Pretty much all of the time, our BDSM goes without a hitch, but occasionally, shit happens, such as the time I told richard to get into the deathtrap closet.
I want to cover a couple of other bumpy moments or what I would call a ‘mistake’. Yes, tops can make mistakes, and they should do their best to care for their toys - because they are human toys and when you break a human toy it ain’t pretty.
I can only think of two more events that I myself would classify as mistakes. The first time we went shopping for a collar, I became disinterested halfway through, and then went on to buy a completely impractical collar with little studs/spikes all around it. In my defense, it’s kinda difficult to shop for BDSM paraphernalia when you have your sub’s ex in tow, and he just happens to be a Christian and dead against anything kinky; but if it weren’t for the ex we wouldn’t even be there (he took us in his car), so not to complain.
Anyway, I felt kinda bad about screwing that up. It was probably a bad idea to try and do something symbolic of our D/s relationship with the ex around.
The second mistake I can think of was when I retracted from a scene too quickly. It was probably the most intense and charged scene I’ve ever directed, it was certainly a very vivid exprience for me. I put a lot of work into it and was totally lost in my fun. When the end of the scene came we spent 10 minutes hugging on the bed, and then I got sucked into the computer. I had got the impression that Richard was tired and was going to wind down and go to bed - something he does on his own by reading, so I did some Mindless Web Surfing for 10 minutes or so.
Richard came in, a little bit upset and/or annoyed. To be honest, my first reaction was slight anger that after all my effort and a perfect scene, there would be complaint; but in the ensuing milliseconds my mind opened up to the fact that since the scene was so intense, while I needed to wind down and do something mindless, he needed more aftercare.
Both of these problems were resolved within minutes, presumably because we are competent communicators. I do dislike hurting a slave in the wrong way though. This is why I am not really a true sadist - I am a quasi-sadist - though “Sensual Quasi-sadist” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.
Comments
The collar wasn’t serious. I was much taken aback when I asked you if you’d like to select one online or when you got here and you weren’t. But that was before we’d even met. We’ve bonded much and learned much about each other since then.
I also had to learn that you also need to transition out of Domme space and to not just instantly plop back into normal reaction without gauging your mood.
We’ve probably both made gazillion missteps that neither of us cares to keep track of. We’re always good at talking everything out. One of the transfinite number of reasons that I love you so much.
Posted by: Richard | September 18, 2005 10:59 PM