On Being Transgendered *and* Kinky at the Same Time
• Misc
As you should probably know by now, I am a transexual - a young girl in what is basically a man’s body, although I got pretty lucky with the shape of my legs and other features.
In this entry I would like to state that I am not a fetishistic transvestite (though clearly, I have nothing against this movement). When I wear female clothes it mostly is not to dominate or to gain sexual gratification in any way. Most of my clothes are normal stuff which the average young girl would wear. I have an eye for clothes that show my assets, for sure. I enjoy feeling sexy, and as I have described in an earlier entry, there is a whole spectrum from feeling sexy and cute to feeling destructively devastating, right into the depths of darkness and depravity. My kinkiness comes from my open mind, my past experiences (turning trauma into something beautiful, role reversal since I was ridiculed by men close to me for ‘not being right’ as I tried to grow as a child *), my artistic streak, and my natural propensity for finding and doing things that give me a rush or thrill ;)
However, while it is true that my need to be seen as feminine isn’t caused by my kinks and fetishes (as is the need of, say, a male shoe/heel fetishist who does drag to come into contact with his fetish object in a ‘legitimate’ way), it may well be that the frustrations and taboos society has placed on anybody male moving in a female direction (feminine guys, transexuals, and the like), have affected me in such a way as to contribute to my kinky side.
- As a side note, I would like to say I don’t have a problem with men in general, and don’t equate acting out certain fantasies with ‘lashing out’ at men and using an innocent bystander as a surrogate object of revenge. I plan to write more on this later.