Procrastinatrix vs. Dominatrix
• Misc
During my teenage years my self-esteem went through the floor, due to various reasons including a sense of confusion about my identity, family troubles and the fact that I only seemed to attract people who seemed to kick you while you were down. I’m almost certain that this feeling of helplessness is what gifted me with my kinky side.
A byproduct of this was having to unlearn a lot of bad habits, including a severe motivation problem which left it difficult to find the incentive to even brush my teeth or answer an email.
Now that I have rediscovered my dominant side, I’ve recently got it conceptualized such that I have begun letting it push the lazy me around. A few stern words to myself inside my head (something to the effect of “Do you want to achive x, y and z or not? How do you expect to x y z when you don’t even a b c?” - pretty much the sort of verbal kick up the arse I perfected for use on my plaything.
Perhaps it’s a little wacky but it works! It’s a shame that at 27 I still struggle to motivate myself sometimes, but it’s a fact of life. This is a good example of how people can actually benefit and change themselves for the better through their fantasies.
Comments
At 27, you are fortunate to find yourself getting that done. There are a lot of people doing that much later in life!
Posted by: Cuhulin | January 15, 2006 10:23 PM
I suppose so :)
People are complicated and unfold in a myriad of ways.
Posted by: Alexandra | January 15, 2006 10:41 PM
In my late fortys I chuckle to read this I still have to push myself. But if you want such a payoff it must be done as you know. I have just started reading your blog and I’m enjoying it so very much. Thanks for all the posts. keep it up!
Posted by: Anti Bitch | January 24, 2006 8:07 AM