Sadism vs. Sadism
• Misc
I’ve seen many examples of what is known as sadism. It appears that the word has strong sexual connotations, but these days, it can really mean just wicked or devious. I’ve heard it used in computer game design, social settings, in referring to human abuse… just about anything.
I don’t know if this is to do with how I am, but I tend to see a lot of bullying and forceful aquisition of power in the outside world.
There was a time when things appeared to be coloured this way so much, that even light socialization was painful; not only because I felt bad for all the people who seemed to be bullied and forced around in the world, but because I hated the possibility that, knowing my own weaknesses, I would be forced to take a subordinate or passive (or submissive, to use D/s terminology) route due to environmental or internal factors - being outnumbered, outpowered, etc.
If you’re familiar with BDSM you will recognize the importance of consensuality, but for the benefit of those of you who are not I should clarify that I don’t identify with or want any part of the bullying or nonconsensual side of the world of sadism.
The word is used (on this site) in what I’m guessing is it’s purest, most original form - to indicate a paraphilia involving the sexual enjoyment of causing mental or psychological pain. More specifically, it’s only productive if the other person is enjoying being on the recieving end, and has a good construct of why the ‘abuse’ is happening to them.
i.e: I’m a worthless person so I’m being abused vs I love being abused this way by a worthwhile dominant.
In my past I have erred on both sides of the nonconsensual line of bullying, having been both the bully and the bullied (I swang uncontrollably from one to the other). Both were very ugly and not something I’d want to repeat. I don’t know if expressing sadism in things such as art and sex helps me to be a more balanced person.
Sometimes I think just being in a healthy relationship is the biggest factor in that. But it certainly can’t hinder the process and any form of self-expression which doesn’t harm yourself or others can only be theraputic.
Do you find that engaging in sado/masochism makes you a better person? My life has been too complicated to really tell - you’d need fairly sterile, experiment-like conditions to test it - or lots of corraborating evidence from trusty sources.