The End of the Road
• Our relationship
My relationship with Richard as I know it has, against my wishes and best efforts, come to an end - thankfully on mutually agreeable terms. A long distance relationship is hard enough - add the fact that we’re in different stages in life, my transformation from girlish boy to woman, the complexities of a power exchange relationship, and spending most of our time apart, and you have a recipe for problems.
Were distance and money (or outdated immigration laws and attitudes towards transsexuals in the USA) no object, we would have had a much better shot at this. In many ways we are made for each-other, and not only did we do a lot of way out kinky stuff, but shared a lot of vanilla affection and friendship.
Richard has mentioned the D/s difficulties in his post. My opinion on it is this: dominating Richard properly is too difficult with the constant back-and-fourth. Three months is not enough to build up the correct momentum. Were I a more experienced domme, maybe I would have had more luck. Aside from this, I also believe I’m changing and developing tastes in D/s outside of the canon of our relationship.
Also, the distance and lack of control (whether I could continue to visit Richard is not in my hands - eventually the money will run out) has created emotional tension within me which is too much to bear. Adding polygamy to our relationship in all honesty may have just made things end in an ugly way - not good.
I feel I should focus on my life and needs on my home turf, and get myself on track before it’s too late and I’m too old to be a drifter. Denying these needs for a lover would only create resentment.
I know for certain we’ve both helped each-other grow and gain confidence, both in the area of kink adventuring and everyday life. We’ve shared intimacy that some people only dream of, and by backing out now, we get to keep one of the most valuable parts of our relationship - our friendship.
The decision hasn’t been easy for either of us, but we both seem to think it for the best in the long-run. Sometimes you have to make painful decisions based on logic and realism rather than your heart.
If you add all our time spent together up, it comes to one and a half years. Definitely the happiest times of my life so far.
Comments
Well that sucks. I hope you both find what you’re looking for. I’m glad you’re staying friends though.
Posted by: roo-roo | September 26, 2007 8:14 PM
While you know it tears a hole in my heart I’m not going to mourn.
We’ve had beauty and passion. We still have friendship.
Posted by: Richard | September 26, 2007 9:09 PM
I hope it works out well for both of you. I’m afraid I won’t be able to think of one of you without the other for quite some time. Take, care.
Posted by: Switch (Fetishlore) | September 27, 2007 12:01 AM
I have been busy for months now and I am sad to discover what happened to you and Richard.
I can relate to your situation. Same has happened to my and my ex but mine has a cultural twist to it.
I wish you and Richard the best.
Posted by: Coldfemale | October 9, 2007 2:51 AM