Dommes are People Too
• People
It seems a lot of guys have an unrealistic, cartoonish view of what sexually dominant women are like. Having spoken to some of them in private, and actually being one myself, I can assure you that they have their strengths and weaknesses just like anybody else. They can have their confidence shaken, feel unworthy of happiness occasionally, or even engange in self-destructive thinking. The thing that makes them sexually dominant is that they have a flair for being in control in at least the sexual sphere, if not other areas too.
The websites and journals of most dominant women share little of the insecurities they may feel since it would be counterproductive to their image and there is no need nor incentive for them to expose this small part of their life. But you guys should take note - that doesn’t mean that you don’t need to be considerate - and not just in a grovelling subby way either. Most dominant women are statistically at risk of going through hardship and needing a lift in one form or another. They don’t live in a perfect black and white comic-book world!
All the snivelling and grovelling in the world isn’t going to help. It’s at these times that being a man will get you a huge headstart and respect.
Comments
Yes!! Both dommes and subs are often pressured into these stereotypical clichι personas. We’ve all got faults and weaknesses, scars and warts. Many of us aren’t “on” all the time. Isn’t being who we are more important than trying to fulfill others’ expectations for who we “should” be?
Posted by: roo-roo | September 25, 2006 8:30 PM
Exactly. For a while I was comparing myself to the stereotype and it was a relief to just let go and accept myself.
I think part of me hates my weaknesses and failings and maybe that part of me could bully the rest of me. Talk about ‘fighting with yourself’!
Posted by: Alexandra | September 25, 2006 11:27 PM
What? You mean that the fantasy doesn’t hold up consistently in real life?
Oh, the horror, the horror!
It would be tempting to just dismiss such insensitivity as just the typical demeanor from the Clueless Subby Types, but the problem is that we all take certain expectations into the bedroom (or dungeon) with us.
Sometimes we miss the point that it’s important to be considerate of others as people before we consider the roles that they play in our lives.
The Edge of Vanilla
Posted by: Tom Allen | October 4, 2006 8:00 PM