Misunderstandings
• People
When I first thought I was gay, I wanted to tell people.
When I first thought I was transgendered, I wanted to tell people.
When I first thought I was kinky, I wanted to tell people.
I didn’t shout it from the rooftops, but I told some of my online friends, without going into gory detail. One friend seemed delighted and quizzed me most enthusiastically. Every time we had a chat session she would ask if I had found any submissives and what I was planning to do with them.
And this is my word of warning to kinksters who may be just coming out - eventually she turned and took the moral high ground. She knows I’m transexual, so the first blow was “Real women don’t have fetishes.” It really hurt at the time. She continued to talk about me in a concerned manner, as if I were some sort of criminal who was ‘basically good at heart’.
She then went on to deduce that I was bitter about my past and wanted a helpless/deranged guy to ‘take it out on’. Revenge is something I’ll never be able to get and do not want. I trust karma to work it’s weird ways - in geological time if need be.
It was sad but I pretty much lost what seemed like a nurturing and mutually beneficial friendship. It did feel at least partially my own fault. She herself had had a disturbing upbringing and while I thought she was comfortable with her questioning, obviously she was not.
Most people’s reaction has been more favourable, and usually humour can be used to bridge any psychic chasm that may result.
p.s. Are there any ‘real women’ out there who have a fetish? snicker
Comments
10 years ago, a former friend of mine, who calls herself an ultra feminist, called me a slut after i admitted to having sex with my former bf. She probably said this because she felt bad that my ex bf chose me over her and that it seems no man wanted her. I can just imagine the things people would say about me once I “come out” about my being a domme. I live in a conservative predominantly Roman Catholic country, predominantly sexually repressed and/or hypocrites. Hehehe.
Posted by: Pinay D | June 14, 2005 1:56 AM
Right, it makes you an easy target for moral dictatorship. Most people who get the wrong end of the stick when you come out, are projecting their own ideas onto you. Similar thing can happen when gay people come out.
And sometimes I swear it’s the most bossy and domineering people who object most to erotic domination :>
Posted by: Alexandra | June 14, 2005 4:32 PM
Real women dont have fetishes.
And exactly what planet is this person from? Sheesh. Excellent post as always.
Posted by: magdala | August 4, 2005 7:17 AM