What, Prey, Is It Then?
• People
Following on from my earlier rambling thought experiment, I’m now wondering what the term recreational femdom actually means!
My first gut instinct is that it is mainly for vanilla couples who like to experiment with BDSM more than most, and consider it perhaps little more than something to whip out (tee hee) and use on those rare occasions when the missionary position gets boring.
My next thought was that I’ve never heard of the term in a version for Femsub. In other words, perhaps there is not so much desperate heirarchy-forming going on within the Male Dominant/Female Submissive scene. I am almost totally ignorant of this sphere so may be completely wrong.
Even though Femsub does nothing for me I have heard in many ways there is less dogma but at the moment this is just idle speculation and nothing more.
What does recreational femdom mean to you? And is there a symmetrical term for the M/f world? Inquiring knows would like to mind…
Comments
My first recollection of hearing the term “recreational femdom” was from that person who called herself Aeysha and left comments very early on.
She seemed to use it as insult, implying that it wasn’t as good as the “real thing.” But any attempt to get her to clarify what realness consisted of just caused her to say that some people just couldn’t understand.
She finally left in a huff.
Posted by: Richard | October 27, 2006 7:58 PM
Oh yeah. She rocked :>
Posted by: Alexandra | October 27, 2006 8:14 PM
Recreational Femdom? That’s when you practice BDSM when you go camping for the weekend ;-)
Posted by: Tom Allen | October 28, 2006 4:13 AM
Well, Alexandra, I don’t particularly find anything wrong with “recreational femdom.” In fact, I kinda-sorta like it bunches. I might even steal it and use it for myself…I like it that much.
But, as I’ve stated everywhere and anywhere, I firmly believe that sexual relationships — be they marital, fantasy phone, BDSM, D/s, Kink-O-Ramas — have a better chance to flourish when there is a certain balance underlying it all. And “recreational femdom” seems to capture the essense of that perfectly.
And, BTW the “real thing” is what two people want it to be. Not for someone else to say…not ever.
Posted by: Angela St. Lawrence | October 28, 2006 6:11 PM
My own problem with the term isn’t what it implies. It is the aesthetics: just too suggestive of bourgeois sterility.
Posted by: Richard | October 28, 2006 8:40 PM
I have to admit I don’t like the term “femdom” much though it does get a point across. “recreational” doesn’t conjure notions of balance to me but each person’s semantic network is unique to them and I can see the potential appeal.
I suspect my dislike of the term is also in the fact that it was used as a way of saying that my ‘take’ on it was somewhat ‘less than the real thing’. How you are introduced to a term tends to shape your feelings towards it.
I don’t think there is an ideal term that suits me. Perhaps the term ‘nurturing sadist’ and the expression that I ‘enjoy a man who enjoys giving enjoyment’
Posted by: Alexandra | October 31, 2006 12:46 PM
I may need more fermenting than nuturing right now :)
I don’t feel these terms and phrases have much to do with us. But they can be fun to play with.
Posted by: Richard | October 31, 2006 1:02 PM