True Submissives Stay Submissive All the Time?
• Psychology Of Domination
I’ve heard of, from several sources, there are people who think that in order to justify the title ‘submissive’ one would need to be submissive to their Owner at all times. I was just wondering if that means Dommes need to be dominant the whole time too?
The reality, I feel, is more subtle than that. I like having an equal sometimes, and I don’t think anybody should cut themselves short of being anything other than their true selves. Preferably, a submissive, instead of being that way the whole time, would frequently find the right shade of behaviour in everyday life so that he can express himself whilst encouraging his Owner to feel free to assume the role at any time it is convenient to both of them.
Truly, somebody who wants to have intense things done to them but is not willing to make the Dominant feel empowered is not a submissive, but a pure masochist.
This whole thing is, to me, a way of making love where ‘penetration’ is psychological. This all boils down to whether you think sex is just for the woman (or Dominant, taking it outside the realm of Female Domination), or for both parties’ growth.
I tend towards the latter. I have to admit that unfairness turns me on, but the point of my thought was that this doesn’t have to be a binary situation. There are shades and each person has their own appropriate shade. In a loving relationship you will make a compromise to your abstract ideals if you care about the person and want them to be happy.
Whether I’d like or be able to deal with a 24/7 situation is something I’m not sure of. I’m still very much finding myself and I know my growth and advances in appetite are welcomed, but ultimately long-term decisions should be made with your partner in mind.
I am hoping we can reach a state that feels like a compromise between 24/7 and scening, erring on the side of caution. I certainly feel that I need to express my Dominant side during lovemaking fairly often (but not all of the time).
Where am I going this? It’s the same old pearl of truth - there is no One True Way and what matters to me is having fun and being in love.
Comments
This is an extremely important and very wise point to make. It’s true; submission and dominance are facets of who we are. They are not all of who we are, and it’s worthwhile to take the time we need for other things as well.
This is always a challenge when there are already so many demands placed upon our time. It’s simply something we must be mindful of. Like most people, I can only say that I do my best….
Thanks for posting this.
Posted by: maymay | March 7, 2007 10:20 PM
Thank-you. It’s always nice to know your efforts are appreciated :)
Posted by: Alexandra | March 8, 2007 10:32 PM