D/s Protocol Revisited
• Rules and Punishments
From a recent email from Richard:
This has been on my mind on and off. If your better mood continues I’d like to experiment some. Since we want to be careful of our total relationship we could try a week three or four times over the course of the 90 days where we set some sort of ground rules for just that week only.
The last time I tried real protocol I found it was hard to impliment it all at once. I can forget how much of an ally simplicity can be, especially for a first time. Having tried to put it into practice I now realize that it can be tricky to remember a new set of rules, let alone actively enforce them. For some reason it seemed that pet boy would magically assimilate the rules as I wrote them down which is unrealistic without putting in the right amount of effective training first (no matter how eager he is to please) - and training is cumulative, building one principle on top of another slowly so they can be absorbed.
So now I am thinking I should start with things that I enjoy the most or are the most important to me when I’m feeling most dominant; and if things go well I can tweak and refine the rules in good time. So off the top of my head some things spring to mind:
1) Strict punishment for failing to address me properly when we play. It doesn’t happen often but I may not have trained him properly in this regard. In fact, any training I may have done so far may have been too bitty to be effective, so we can agree on set punishments for these kind of things during these trial periods.
2) As above but with the rule of keeping his head down and showing appropriate submissiveness. I am not complaining about his performance, but there are certain things such as keeping his head down, asking permission to do certain things (which will probably need to be worked out specifically) and the like. These punishments would be less severe than in point one.
3) Ritualized lower extremity worship A.K.A persistent foot kissing. This could work on two levels - one - inside D/s (perhaps at the start and end of every session or after leaving my presence each time) and two - outside D/s (where it takes on a different shade of meaning since we are not ‘scening’). This is something we both have wanted for a long time, but (it sounds crazy) somehow we never got around to ritualizing it.
4) Richard suggested being forced to play at any time, and being punished for not living up to that at any time during the trial period. I can see the excitement there, but it’s one of those things where I will have to feel the time is right for it. A get-out clause if he’s feeling unwell would make it easier for both of us, at least to start off with.
5) Small gestures outside of D/s. This is one of the things that attracted me to Richard in the first place. These sorts of things are more symbolic and universal than they are kinky, but they can stimulate the kinkbuds too. I want to write about my ideas for expalding that area in my next post. Ideally they would be continuous and not just during the weeks of heavier D/s play :)
I would hesitate to add any more for the time being, though I’m open to suggestions.
Comments
I trust you to never try to force me to anything if I really not feeling well. But if it were just moodiness …
I know you’d give me a chance to explain and proceed accordingly.
And to be honest I love it when you are soft and sweet and when you are strict as well :)
Posted by: Richard | October 4, 2006 5:56 PM
Everyone has what works for them when it comes to rules, regulations and protocals … as long as it works for the two of you that is what matters the most and in the end for that matter.
I have rules, regs, and protocals for my girl to follow while she is with me, at any event and when she is on her own - they work for us, but might not work for others, which is fine since they where developed for her to follow and no one else.
From the looks of things you are doing just fine with how things are going .. luck to the two of you.
LM
Posted by: Lady Muse | October 21, 2006 8:01 AM