Sensual Sadist

Sounds like to much work for both.

Rather than use “Thank you, Goddess”, this slave could substitute the phrase “This slave offers thanks, Goddess”

Avoids the use of pronouns and offers opportunity for further punishment. Oh boy.

Brian,

I can see how the longer statement of thanks might seem more potent to some.

My thanks is always heartfelt and I’m not sure it would benefit from greater formality.

It is of course up to Alexandra.

Thanks for the comment.

slave4mzpatti,

That it is requires more effort from me (at least at first) is part of the power of protocol.

I have no idea how we’ll feel about it over the long haul. But for now it really does seem like an exciting adventure and a way to more readily find myself in the slave trance.

I like the protocol you have established for richard, and I might use some of the ideas in my own statement of protocol with my own slave Bronze. Thank you.

slave4mzpatti, I have to say I don’t agree. The rules are less complicated than they sound. For example rule 1 is basically ‘no pronouns’. Coming to rest as my potential footstool (Rule 3) is something my slave does a lot of the time anyway. This is all stuff that I think will enforce our roles without complicating things.

Brian, thanks for the input, that’s a good idea, I may use it.

Miss Silver, that’s cool! I like giving other people ideas. Some of the ideas I got from books and stuff… I’ll keep an eye on your site.

While I have heard alot of ppl enjoy these types of rules…personally I get bored w/ them. I prefer to make new rules for my slave everytime we play…leaving more room for mistakes…and punishment.

Sounds like your rules came from the “Books of Gor”. A slave using third person speech, teaches to take the focus off the slave and put it more on their Owner. There is no “I, me,my or mine in a slaves vocabulary. Asking permission for anything and everything, should come as second nature to a slave. If this rule is placed in the beginning of the relationship and the slave follows it, it forms a trust. Also, who as a Owner wants a slave standing over them so naturally they should go to their knees to show their place is beneath the Owner. They should not be allowed to take liberates such as touching, licking, carassing, etc. You are not their play toy or there for their pleasure, they are there for the pleasures of the Owner and to obey….period! Last but not least, a slave that greets his Owner on bended knee and kissing the tops of the Owner’s feet shows the total devotion of the slave to their Owner.

Medina

I leafed through a couple of Gor books several years ago. The objectification by pronoun removal was the one thing that really resonated with me.

Alexandra had mentioned a desire for small rituals that would reinforce her dominant side. In my own weblog I mentioned this part of Gor among other things. She really liked the idea. She’d have decided to implement it earlier but ordinarily was too burdened by distractions.

The protocol You have came up with is great. As a slave i feel it is imporant to have strict rules to abid by to constantly remind him/her of their place and may i sauggest a mantra someting for him to recite sevral times a day to remind him that You are superior and hes job is to serve You. i am pleased to see a truly strict Woman and envy Your slave i wished i was lucky enough to find such a Goddess. Please write me i would like to speak to You or Your slave.

I agree with those who comment that these ‘protocols’ are tedious and boring. Personally, my Mistress and I prefer more action-oriented reminders of her ownership of me- golden toilet servitude, to name just one.

Even during private, collared time together, we find that too many rules and procedures lead to lapses on both our parts, with a loss of respect and feeling of being ‘owned’ on my part.

This sounds much more like a game, similar to the situation my Mistress of now almost 3 years when she was new to this. And the Gor references, for me, cement that view.

-saratoga

saratoga,

I don’t know if it is clear but most of our time together is romantic: huggling, cuddling, nothing to do with BDSM at all.

We were refer to D/s as play or fun. The protocols are a game. Though a serious game that we hope will deepen our play.

I like protocols that filters through it the submissive attitude like: the look and positionging of his eyes when he meets me, or when making ammends or apologize, or to be thankful; the pushing forward of his penis, offering to me at all times, even in public, sublte but noticeable, his legs open, having his body accesible always: buttons insteasd of closed collar, opening the shirt and pushing forward his nipples in offering at all times, even in public..again- subtle. erasing whatever emotion comes uncontrollable just at my mere look….I love rituals…like positions I call for- when I say a certain, number…”124”: on tip toes, torso and head back, tongue out, legs spread….as long as I say or squatting with legs wide spread following me when I say “222”, hmmm so many….positioning himself in certians rooms as told…”go to the library” and once there he knows he becomes a statue on the wall, positioning himself with the ties on the wall…waiting for me to use him.

I can understand if the protocol thing doesn’t work with some D/s couples, or they find it boring. For me it’s a case of it’s about time… A slave shouldn’t just do things like reach out and touch me, without my permission. He may beg for it respectfully and then it is up to me.

Thanks for the varying opinions, people. They are interesting to read. But… saratoga, I really don’t get where you’re coming from. You think this protocol thing is all I do? You think I don’t fuck with Richard’s head sometimes by switching things up? You don’t think he’s constantly being degraded for my pleasure? This is just a static weblog entry about one thing - a base line I am establishing. I can’t put my whole sex life in one entry! It seems to me you’re taking it out of context and isolating it. Yeah I am fairly new to this but don’t undermine my style of dominance because different things work for different people.

It always surprises me that there are folks like but not to pick on saratoga who doesn’t understand that there are many different styles and modes of dominance and submission.

And we aren’t necessarily going to be locked into one specific form of D/s (or maybe we will, time will tell).

saratoga, I don’t find the rules cumbersome in a bad way. Indeed if we did get too complicated it probably would knock me out of slave space. Then Alexandra would adjust them.

I like the more actionful stuff as well. The protocol hardly precludes more physical play.

Great to see your blog here, Alexandra. I’ve read Richard’s, and have enjoyed it. My standard protocol for my slave is similar. He isn’t forbidden use of personal pronouns at this time; that will come when I decide to do some intense voice training. When he does earn his words back, I will not be allowing him to even say “this slave,” but will instead teach him to structure his sentences to not refer to himself at all. It’s pretty difficult, but provides a unique headspace. One thing that I can suggest, though, is that, unless you really want to do the whippings each time he slips, you can alternate and give him the soap treatment instead sometimes. I’ve found that soap in the mouth leaves a very lasting impression. (: As far as the footstool is concerned, what I tend to do is simply not allow him on the furniture at all, except maybe when I want him at the table with me for meals, so he has his “butt towel” to carry around and put where he sits on the floor, and then, if I want him for a foot stool, I just pull him close and either put my feet on his lap, or tell him if I want him as an on all fours ottoman. In the future, he will receive and hand signal instead of verbal instructions.

To those of you who think this is too tedious, well, it can be, especially at first. But as it becomes routine, it becomes routine, and becomes second nature to both. I find higher sets of protocol to be very comforting ways to maintain dynamics in an ongoing relationship.

A couple of other ideas to toss out to you: piss control. I sometimes make him ask me each time he has to go pee. (and of course, he sits when he pees, and has to keep the door open, unless there is company, or if he has to do more than pee). I like the control over such a basic function. Now this one DOES get tedious for me over time, so it’s not something we do all the time. Another thing is that he is to acknowledge me any time I speak to him. In other words, if I tell him to go get something for me, he must say “Yes, Trainer,” and not just go running off without saying anything to me. Something that I haven’t done yet that I want to try in the future, at times, is to make him do something similar to leaving and entering a dojo. To bow toward the room before he leaves, and when coming in, if I am in that room.

Anyhow, sorry for the lengthy comment. I love protocol, and actions that reinforce dynamics. It’s fun, and it keeps him focused on me, and the goal of our relationship. Thanks for sharing your ideas! C

P.S. One thing that I also do that Amanece mentioned, is make him keep his body open to me at all times. This means that he keeps his hands behind his back when he is not using them to do something, he never crosses his legs or covers his privates with his hands, and he is even to leave his lips slightly parted and wet, for my use if I want. This instills a pretty profound headspace for him. (:

I’m pretty exciting by the initial protocols.

Since we aren’t a lifestyle couple I suspect we will have to increment things very, very slowly. The training effect from comparatively short scenes probably isn’t as strong as it is when done all day long.

I have a certain nervousness in the back of my mind that if we move too quickly the artificiality would kill any emotional impact. My biggest fear it that it will only seem ludicrous.

Funnily enough I’m as apt to sit as stand when I pee and rarely close the door.

I have been directed to this site by an e-mail on Ms Christine’s DOMestic Line… I have been in a so-called 24/7 D/s relationship with my sub-husband for several years and would like to share a few thoughts on protocols. As some have noted, complex rules of behavior can become difficult to follow and enforce and not worth the bother; but it is very important to maintain the slave, or submissive (if “slave” is too extreme a term for you)in a constant state of deep respect for the Domme. This respect is to be expressed both verbally and in behavior. As far as speech is concerned, I insist that my slave not speak to me unless spoken to and asked for a response. If he has a question to ask or a statement to make, which of course happens frequently in real everyday life, he should ask, as humbly as possible: “May I speak, Mistress?” I have considered, but never adopted, the banishment of pronouns or the use of the third person (although I rather fancy the notion of being adressed in the 3rd person as maids of yore used to: “Will Madam wear her blue dress today?”) because it seemed too cumbersome in everyday life. Those basic verbal rules have become second nature with him (although they of course have to be somewhat relaxed in public and social situations — but even there he maintains a thoroughly deferential attitude toward me; once a girlfriend who has no idea we are D/s told me, laughing, “How well-trained your husband is!”)

He must also ask permission to do whatever is not part of his assigned chores — and that does include going to the bathroom!

As far as bodily attitudes, he is always expected to stand with eyes downcast in front of me and I have a number of gestures that tell him to kneel in front of me or to bend over (for a spanking) or to stand in the corner for punishment, etc… He is never allowed to sit down on a chair or couch unless told to (exception: in the kitchen where he usually has his meals after he has served mine when I eat at home, he may sit down at the kitchen table, although I have sometimes made him eat from a bowl or plate on the floor).

Other physical things he may not do: put his hands in his pockets, smoke (stopping smoking was part of his early training), drink (he must ask permission, and no alcohol is ever allowed — only water), and generally he is expected to keep his hands inactive when not engaged in some assigned work.

By now I cannot really call these, and other requirements, a set of “rules” or “protocol” because as I said they have become so engrained as to be second nature. Infractions have been very few in recent months or even years.

I’d be glad to read any comments (and private e-mails are not discouraged if you have questions or are interested in discussing the subject.) Michele

i believe that too strict protocol makes things too dificult.But a basic Protocol helps the slave to change attitude and psychology and gradually to develop with the proper guidance of his Mistress his inner slave.Protocol like collar,chastity and femme-panties are pivotal to transform a male to a real slave.Ms Alexandra’s rules are very applicable and can become a second nature to the male-slave.

The idea that protocol rules (or any rules) set by Mistress make life harder for Her slave is what it’s all about, isn’t it? She, on the other hand, communicates with minimal words(“Up,” “Down,” “Footstool”) or just by snapping Her fingers or waving Her hand (slave should know what She wants, and will be punished for mistaking Her intention). The slave must be formal at all times as part of its submission and respect for Her, and will respond with “Yes Mistress, thank You, Mistress” Or perhaps, to follow through on earlier suggestions about totally eliminating pronouns, “This unworthy slave begs to thank the Goddess.” a cue for Her, if She is pleased to do so, to extend Her foot so Her slave can kiss it with complete reverence and humility.